We ask so much of our horses —so much of what we do with them goes against their fight or flight instincts — so we cannot forget to be grateful. When you feel like you are in a funk, take a break from training and remember why you love to ride. Let us not forget that feeling. Home Spark Podcast Discover.
Ellie Woznica. What's Your Reaction? Nailed it. My mom, bless her heart, tried everything to get me to deal with losing my dad. She was never not trying. She could see that I w no longer cared about my life or well-being anymore. I was doing destructive things and putting myself in danger. The therapist understood me and my process: I could only handle feeling a little bit at a time. Week after week, she helped me unpack my grief for an hour so that I could heal through a bite-sized chunk of heartache.
Then she helped me pack the rest of it back up, and go about my week feeling a little lighter, a little stronger, and a little more comforted. As I began to feel again, I also started to miss riding.
They had bought a new horse — a bay Arab-Quarter Horse gelding named Shadow. I tried everything I could to not let the excitement overwhelm me. I also worried I still might not feel anything during the ride.
We set out down the wooded back roads towards the Sierra Nevada hills of Central California. It was as though I could finally breathe again.
It was a feeling I could hold onto. We rounded a gravel road up towards the mountain trail. My friend looked over and dared me to go for a good run. In that instant, holding onto his thick black mane and moving effortlessly with the rhythm of his stride, I felt completely… free. Grief was still there and had to be dealt with. But I had glimpsed the other side of life—that I could feel good again—and my heart began to heal. How God knew that my childhood horse could bring me back to the land of the living still amazes me.
I rode Shadow before anything bad had happened, when everything was still new and magical about these beautiful creatures. It was a combination of choosing to move forward, people reaching out in my ugliest stages, and accepting the help that I needed. Some people reach a point in their mental health journey where they need to take medication or see a therapist. I needed therapy. My journey out of depression and grief also took time.
Every little moment in depression seems to count, because time seems to drag on and vanish all at once. You need to keep fighting. Find your reasons to live—not just your reasons to stay alive, but reasons to live fully. They are there, I promise. Reach out to your close friends and family, so they know you need extra support. How cool was that?
I can also close my eyes and smell those smells in the barn; feel and smell the leather; taste the air, feel the horses. Did you understand the question because the answer impacts on your decision to keep riding or quit. Are you making any kind of mechanical mistake which, if adjusted, will put you back on top? Are you having a problem with your horse that could be fixed with a training session or two? On the other hand, are you not riding well because you are feeling bad; lethargic, bored, uninspired, tired, burned out?
Again, probably a good time to speak to an objective professional; someone who can guide you to getting some answers for yourself. Oftentimes riders; competitors in any endeavor for that matter get pulled away from their sport for a variety of reasons with some fairly simple solutions.
Reason number one; burn out. Simple solution: take a break. Even things that you love and are passionate about can get stale at a point. Usually the feeling does not last. Or not. Go for a trail ride. Go into the ring and play some games. Get one of those big balls that the horses love to play with.
Reason number two; stress; putting too much pressure on yourself and your horse to win and fulfilling that demand. Simple solution: again … get a professional to give you an honest assessment of where you … and your horse are at … right now and then take two actions immediately. Accept the truth for whatever it is. If you respect the professional then trust their evaluation LET them help you. It is just a starting point. Not the end. Get better. Reason number three; something else; specifically some other passion has grabbed your attention.
Now this is a good reason for quitting and it happens to all of us at various times in your life. There was a time when my youngest son took swings a day to improve his baseball swing and it showed in the results he got. He switch hit and was terrific; had colleges interested in him when he was a sophomore in high school and then you know what happened? His passion for music had slowly taken over his heart and dominated his emotions. He ended up getting nearly a full scholarship for music and music production.
He recently graduated and is starting his own production company. My oldest was a great high school baseball player and went to State finals twice in wrestling. Give yourself time. Get some objective professional help. Let reason … rather than emotion rule. Change what you do with your horse. Maybe riding is enough … at the moment. Listen to your head, your heart, your instincts. Sometimes it is difficult to ask for help.
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